Churches run by people like Joel Osteen are why we have Lutherans and Protestants.

Never trust anyone whose smile is bigger than their heart.

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Seriously, Fabio is the goddamn Pope and it took an hour and a half for a chainsaw to show up.

Now there’s Sharknados forming all over the world!

It sucked.

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The fact that this was a movie and not a TV series should’ve been a tipoff that this was gonna suck.

There’s a dark tower and Idris Elba has a gun.

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Seriously, it’s shit.

What The Lego Movie was feared to be: soulless advertisement.

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Remember when Shark Week was about education and not conservation?

Phelps never raced against sharks.

The sharks beat him anyway.

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“But it comes with a free forgurt!” “That’s good!” “The frogurt is also cursed.” “That’s bad.”

Don’t make wishes with creepy music boxes!

It’s the devil!

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We got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught on fire.

Mike Meyers is totally not the British host, you guys.

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