Simon is the universal language. Who knew?

Talk to aliens by playing some synthesizer music with them.

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Remember when Shark Week was about education and not conservation?

Phelps never raced against sharks.

The sharks beat him anyway.

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indigenous-peoples

It’s good to be correct about history, as long as we still have a parade.

Don’t care what you call it, it’s a day off.

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trump doc

“The coroner? I’m so sick of that guy.”

If Dr. Nick from The Simpsons was a real person.

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the-nightly-show-july-8-2016

I’ll miss it, but it wasn’t a memorable show by a long shot. Had really big shoes to fill after Colbert left.

Show about black issues didn’t resonate with rest of America.

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_nomanssky_2

Yeah “no man” because there’s nobody else.

Do you like exploring planets?

Well, there’s not much else!

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tim-kaine

Seriously, this guy’s credentials are inhumanly good.

A politician that was probably grown in a Democrat Lab.

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